“Meets Requirements”

I turned in my very first assignment today and I passed! Whoop!!!

I know it’s a small accomplishment in the larger plan…but it is a start. The following words have never been sweeter….

“The submission provided a competent justification of the social and political changes brought by Martin Luther and Andrew Jackson.”

It’s not about grades….its about being competent. Hell freaking yeah. :D


Keep on keepin’ on

Yesterday was my first day of online classes. That’s right…going back to nursing school.


“What? I thought you already had your RN? Weren’t you in school for almost 5 years before?”

I am an RN. But it only requires an associate degree to get your nursing license. Which sucks, because yes, it took me a total of almost 5 years to complete the pre-reqs and the nursing program. The nursing program is only 2 years, which is technically the length of time it takes to get an associate degree.

So, yes, I am in school again to obtain my Bachelor of Science in Nursing. BSN. I’m an official student at Western Governors University.


My first class is Themes in U.S. & World History.


“What does history have to do with a science degree?”

Well, back when I was in nursing school in 2005-2007…I felt that I just needed my RN and didn’t need any more than the two year degree, so I didn’t take enough of the general education requirements needed for a bachelor degree. Oops.

So here I am. History is not really my “thing.” But I have a different attitude today and I am having fun and have LEARNED. So far, in my first assignment I have learned about…

Martin Luther:

martin luther

…and Andrew Jackson:



Both people that, before yesterday, I knew virtually nothing about.

I love that learning is a never-ending adventure.



Stop it!

It feels like the universe has been testing me lately. By lately I mean this year so far. It seems that right when I am feeling that I am getting through a difficult experience…another one rears its ugly head.

I’m still dealing with it and I’m still here but REALLY?!?!?!?


If I had enough downtime I might have enough strength to write about it. Not yet.


For now I am lucky enough to have good friends and family, that have lent their shoulders.


I have been told many times….

“I don’t know how you can do what you do.” or “Your job must be so hard.”

Of course it is. I’m a nurse. Being a nurse is a DAMN HARD JOB. So hard, that had I known prior to doing all the freaking insane hard work in nursing school just to become a nurse, and then working as a nurse and looking back thinking…”I wish it was easy like it was back in school”…

I wouldn’t have done it.

But, you know, that’s not why people become nurses. Honestly, I don’t even know WHY people become nurses. In addition to that, many will say that they really don’t know why people become hospice nurses.

I really don’t know either. Except that it just feels like where I should be…what I’m good at. I am a hospice nurse.

No, I didn’t always know. I don’t exactly know why I chose this path. In a way, I suppose, I kind of just ended up here. I never had dreams of being a nurse as a child or even as a young adult. When I decided to become a nurse I had no idea what kind of nurse I wanted to be. I just had a thought that “I could do that.”

So it began. I can’t even tell you how may times I have thought that I made a HUGE mistake and OHMYGAWD now I have to do this for the rest of my life? I heard that a lot of (most) nurses feel that way at some point along the way. At least I started to veer in the right direction. Lucky for me.

I’ve kind of had “my own” philosophy for a few years and recently I discovered that the following was a quote from long, long, long ago by Plato..

“Death is not the worst thing that can happen to man.”

THIS is why I am a hospice nurse. I know I didn’t create this idea, but this is the reason I can do what I do on a regular basis and really help people along the way. I have seen proof of this idea along the way in my nursing career as well as within my personal experience. This can be seen as both good and bad, depending on how you look at it. I see it as good.


Somebody’s got to do it. 



Being ultra contemplative has its benefits. I’ve been more motivated to create finished objects. Here are some of the latest…

Soul Searching

“Soul searching”, “finding myself”…

in the past I have thought these phrases to be somewhat cliche. An excuse that someone uses in order to not have to get anything done, to “take a break” from the regular daily activities.


I was wrong.


I did not choose to do this “soul searching”…this reflection…it just happened. I can say right now, that I would never choose to reflect in this way, but at the same time I am not sorry that it happened. I don’t know if anyone would choose to do real, honest soul searching. I’m not talking about just thinking about where you’ve been and where you want to go. I’m talking about being forced to think about things that you’d prefer not to. Feelings in yourself that you wish you didn’t have. Where you’ve been and would prefer to forget. Yet, you know, at the same time…these places and feelings that you would have preferred to never have been…


have made me the person I am today. The person that I like and am proud to be.


Maybe this kind of things happens at certain times in your life when you know you can handle it.


Just when you think you had experienced every emotion that you could possible think of…

a new one appears.

It’s simultaneously wondrous and tortuous.


Just trying to see where it takes me.


Spring always feels like a good time to change things up a bit. This past month has been wacky (both good and bad) so I really felt a need for something different. So I’m working on a new look for my website. It’s still under construction and may be for some time, because I really don’t know what I’m doing. Just testing things out and leaving things there as they work. Please be patient. :)